Okay... So i am lazy...

I know i didn't update this blog for two days aready...

I was simply just enjoying my freedom...

Well, only for a few days more... Then back to working on school stuff le.

So maybe you can let me off this time :)

"Balance? There is no balance... "

0245... What's that?

No that's not a time, and no... It certainly isn't a winning 4D number (0243 is a winning number)

That number is printed on my hand today... For NAPFA test, if you were wondering...

I tried washing a few times, but the number still stays on my hand (T-T)

How did the NAPFA test go?

Err... I wouldn't want to say much on that *sensitive* subject...

No really... Tell me what happen...!

(-_-) Okay... Lets see... Failed like 4 out of 6 stations... Which few?

Its standing broad jump, shutter run, chin-up, and 2.4 run

Sianz now means i need to go into NS early... (T-T)

Hope that the next NAPFA test (If there ever is one...) i can pass lor...

Lets not talk about sad stuff...

My cartooning course i attended was quite fun, learn quite a number of things, like how to draw human faces...

The secret is stop restraining yourself! Don't care about what people say! There is no 'right' method of drawing...



(Faces...)

that's what i drew at the course, sorry if the image is kinda big... Its the real actual size.

One of my friends say the drawing looks like me (LOL)

I think i will end here for today... Sleeping time :)

"form is emptiness, emptiness is form..."

"no form, no emptiness..."

"form is form, emptiness is emptiness..."

NAPFA Tomorrow!

Oh no... The dreaded NAPFA test is tomorrow...

How's my preparation?

Don't think gonna help much, hope the training i done on some weekends can pay off...

Other then that... I just hope a miracle can happen...

The cartooning course i signed up for is also tomorrow... Wah... I sure hope the NAPFA test ends before 6pm, cos that's the time my cartooning course starts...

If i don't go for the cartooning course, i may fail APEL!!!

Arggg! Why is this happening to me?

I guess there is no point being angry and all...

But i can't stop worrying about tomorrow...

I know, worries doesn't solve anything... But the strange thing is by worrying, i am actually convincing my self that it would be alright?

Stayed back in school to debug my Web Submission System... Well, still some bugs left but can say that it performs basic functions...

One thing i keep telling myself, i need to do this... do that... When i reach home...

But guess what? 3/4 of the time i will drift of to do other stuff (T-T)

Maybe that's what people call "short attention span" ?

Ah... After hearing about my worrying and stuff... i guess it kinda paints a gloomy picture huh?

Here's one 'painting' i did today (Click here to see how i drew it)


(Without a clue...)

Nite time... so soon... Oh well, have a nice nite :)

"Can you tell me the ultimate truth?"

"The sky is high, the ground is hard..."

Colorless day...

Today when i woke up, i looked around...

It seems be be a colorless day...

What you mean by a colorless day?

I meant that things around suddenly seems so dull... Like adding gray to all the bright colors...

I drew this today using artpad... (Click here to view how i drew it)


(Colorless day...)

Sianz... Just got news... I am going to the medical checkup alone on the 21 of Oct (T-T)

Hope my fear of people doesn't kick in then...

Lots of work to do... But haven't started yet...

i don't know what to do now... Someone... Anyone... I really need HELP!!!!

"When the world you know seems to be closing in... Look at the sky, at least it
will be blue..."

Hey! You're early!

Ya... i wrote this entry early because i know, i got lots of stuff to do later (T-T)

like the booking of the medical check up (Sianz... Going NS soon...)

And some of my other work (The extract frame thingy...)

I didn't write anything yesterday, because i was out voluteering for the thing i signed up (volunteer-a-day)

Next week is NAFA test aready...

Hows my preparation?

Guess, will have to go in NS earlier if i don't pass... (T-T)

Lets just hope a miracle will happen on the test date :)

Found this cool web site that records what you draw...

http://artpad.art.com/?ik4q6cftuns (Heres wat i drew)

How am i gonna face tomorrow?

Wish me luck for tomorrow...

"Don't know? Easy... Just go straight, your answer will be there..."

Wah... Is it slowing down?

No.... I just though my internet speed just went down... I hope it is just my imagination playing...

Becos, i don't want to go beck to like 56K that time...

It seems that it slows down after a while... Then the speed goes back to normal...

Hmm... What went wrong?

Didn't do much today... Just much like yesterday...

Aiya... What am i running away from? I feel that way...

I know a lot of stuff is waiting for me to do...

But i just don't 'feel' like doing anything...

Haiz... Now so close to sleeping time already... Hope tomorrow's trip to the old folks home will be a good one...

"If you understand this, you don't know the truth..."

What an ending... (Half-Blood Prince)

Haha... I couldn't stop myself to finish the "Harry Potter: Half-blood prince" I took like 3 hours to read through the remaining pages from before...

So how the ending?

Well, it is sad... Because a lot happened in the end... ('-')

And about the identity of half blood prince was unexpected (For me)

Also not forgetting harry's new girlfriend :)

Read the book, it is a good read :)

Okay i know that reading of the book took a large amount of working time from me... But i felt that i had to finish the book...

After i finished it... I feel so empty, i want MORE!!

Oh well, have to wait patiently for the next book... (Which i think will be out in a few years)

Hehe... Time to sleep now :)

" When you are standing on top of a 10 feet pole, how
can you go further from there? "

Time no enough...

No, that's not the name of Jack Neo's movie...

It is talking about me... I don't have enough time!

Why?

I am not too clear on this too...

Always when i start to relax, i find stuff stacked on me...

Take now for an instance, i was about to blog... A call sent me on a quest to look for "How to extract frames from GIF/flash"

I was suddenly overwhelmed! I felt like i was trying to squeeze an empty lemon for more juice...

I just felt sad... Deep down inside me, i can say that i hate the person who called...

Even although i know it wasn't his fault, wish that my problems would go away... (Like frodo wishing the ring never came to him...)

I know, i know i should be shameful of such behavior, i will keep that in mind...

Blame... We often like to push the blame on other people or objects... Never realizing that we have ourselves to blame for our troubles...

Its always "The bus is late!", "The test was too hard"...

Never "I woke up late and missed the bus", "I didn't study enough"...

This is also present in me too, you can see from what i wrote above...

Why is it so hard to put the blame on ourselves instead of other?

Pride maybe?

I guess i should go to sleep now, shouldn't stay up too late... Isn't good for your body :)

Good night!

"You don't understand? Try talking to the tree, you will find your answer
there..."

Daydreaming... Ah, building sand castle in the air...

That was what my primary school teacher used to say about me...

Yup, a daydreamer... I guess you can call me that :)

What's wrong with daydreaming?

Well, nothing is wrong with that, but excessive daydreaming can be dangerous...

After all, daydreams aren't real...

So no point getting happy or sad over something that isn't even real...

But sometimes... It seems so hard to not to daydream...

Or fantasies, i had a wonderful daydream in the library today (I was supposed to be calming my mind):

I dreamt about a young man (About 18~20) drinking a tea from a cup (Those small cup the Chinese drink out of), he was sitting under a tree...

On a hill that overlooked a vast field, he was thinking about how he met the girl of his dreams...

It was funny tho, the two met because of him, accidentally throwing the tea cup at her...

He went up and apologize...There under the tree, their friendship grew...

They had many happy and sad moments together...

The flash-back stopped there... Tears rolled down his cheek...

He put down the cup under the tree...

Walked down to the field slowly... Then turning back, and waved to the tree...

As if thanking the tree that has always been there for him...

The screen now zoomed to the truck of the tree... It was a heart shape carved onto the trunk, below was the year 19XX (Can't remember quite clearly now) ~ 2005...

And the daydream ended...

It is like a movie huh?

Yeah, i though so too... Wonder what happened to the girl tho?

What was the meaning of the year carved on the tree?

Haha... Perhaps you can tell me...

Okay enough of sand castles in the air...

Did some work on my Major project... Just found out today that we may need to have a prototype to show our supervisor (Oh no!)

Well, today's mediation session was quite restless, was able to hold my mind for a while...

I guess i would need to work harder... And try not to lose my temper so easily... (Sorry mom! I shouldn't have complain about you nagging)

Ah... All in a day's work... Time to sleep soon... Good Nite (-_-)zZ

"The sky has always been blue... Didn't you know that?"

A Fine day... Is this not?

Ever had those days where the people who you work with, try to give you "Advice" on stuff that you wouldn't need...

Which reminds me... I found this clip a few months ago, and which i still find funny today...

View Clip It is about dealing with your work stress, the fun way of cos... ;)

Okay... Back to what happened today...

Work up kinda late today... And caused me to go to school late today (T-T)

Can say i was quite lazy today :)

Luckily the project "rush" is over for a while... *~Phew~*

Never the less... Still feel that i have not enough time :(

Why? Why? I want to know too... (T-T)

Oh ya found an online version of Harry Potter here

Aiya... So fast sleeping time already... Guess it is off to bed with me...

"Open your mouth, you will receive thirty beatings from the
stick. Close your mouth, the thirty blows has already landed on
you."

"What should your response be... inorder to be spared from the stick?"

Miss me did'cha?

Hehe... I haven't forgotten about this blog.

It was just that i was too tired to blog this week.

You know this week is my 1 week break, which i refer as "Project Week".

Was at school most of the days, but don't worry...

I finished most of my projects...

Now... I just need more rest... More is coming my way (T-T)...

This week, a lot things happened... Like the NKF thing, which is mentioned in many blogs.

My judgment on the matter? Nah, i think i wouldn't want to judge... Wrong and right always so hard to differentiate...

Besides... I am not the CEO of NKF, i don't know what really happened...

So i will be unfair to judge on the tiny evidences given by the media...

People make mistakes... But not everyone is so lucky to have a second chance ya'know...

Talking about this, reminds me of a clip i watched sometime back...

Note: may contain some nudtiy... (It is quite big too... I mean the file size)

The worst day...

This is for those who don't want to watch the clip... Highlight to see the text.
Start highlight here>
This is about a average guy who accidentally click on some 'Dirty' link in his email...
This led to a chain of event to happen:

• His girlfriend left him
• Got kicked out of work
• His dog 'Died'
• Poor until get money from his sister
• Got looked down upon by everybody

Not able to take it anymore, he ends his life ...

So maybe try to be nicer to people next time? Making people feel happy will also do you good :)

Okay... Enough writting for today... Cya tommorrow

"The truth is always been near, you just didn't know where to look for
it..."

Time Out!

Aiya... I played away most of today...

How now, i have to hand up my part of the project to my ENAD team mates tomorrow...

How much has i completed it? Well i say 60~65%

Now i am so scared...

Can't write much now... Hope i survive tomorrow...(T-T)

"If tomorrow never comes, do you think you will work harder?"

Hooked! Is it a big one?

Haha... Just becos yesterday was the last day of term test, i held a post term test celebration which, consist me playing different games non-stop (gunz,mu online,...) today.

Mu Online? I thought you quit that a long time ago?

Ya, i did stop play MU for sometime now, but it seems that it has me hooked on again...

I am currently playing in this server: MU-Fun

i go under the name of "Leaf", so if you see me there just say hi :D

Aiya... My ENAD team mate has already SMS me on what to do for the project...

Now I can't play much games again... (T-T)

At least the project is do-able, hopefully...

Not forgetting i still have a major project intern report to write...

This break (1 week) cannot be considered as an holiday!

It should be called "Project Week"...

Haiz... No use complaining, better get started on my projects... :(

Not before a short game of MU ;)

"If you known the future, why did you do the mistake again?"

Is it over? Can i come out now?

Today is the last day of the term test! Hurray!

However today also marks the last show for "有福"... (I feel kinda sad...)

Well, at least 有福 got an happy ending...

Things come and go... It is hard not to attach to them... When something becomes part of your life you are just not sure if it will stay there forever...

However, i guess i would like it to stay forever... Silly thought on my part.

Wasn't i the one who talked about change? Yes, i know that change is ever present, we get suffering because we try to make the changing unchangeable...

Okay... Back to what happened today.

The paper was an open book, i think i have no problem with this paper :D

Did a strange thing on the bus back home tho, i was thinking of going to the tampines interchange to top up my ezlink card, but instead i told my friends i was going to the library... Well, when i reached that stop i told them i was going to get off, they told me the library is at the next stop...

I was not sure why i feel so strange about that, as if i did something wrong (Well, did i?)

*Yawn* It's time for me to go to bed :D

"When knowing becomes not knowing, how do you define knowing?"

Talent? Where do i get one of those?

Well, i looked in stores... Can't find it anyway...

Who am i? Am i a jack of all trade?

Sadly no... I think i am one of those jack with no trade (T-T)

Talent... What's my talent? I hear you ask...

Honestly... i don't think i have any talent worth mentioning here...

Why...! Why do i have no talent?

I sure do not want to be like what i drew today:


(Will draw for food...)

Just hope i can find my talent soon... :D

Okay... How did my DSCN test term go?

Well, i can say that it was an okay paper, hope i can pass tho...

After the paper... I went to the library to return the "Turning your mind into an ally" Hope it will still be there tomorrow, i will go to the library to borrow it again...

As for me studying for tomorrow's paper...

Er... I didn't study at all (What!)

I know, i know... This doesn't look too well does it?

Arrg! gotta cramp it all in tomorrow morning...

Wish me luck... (I think i gonna need it this time...)

"The sky will always be there, the water will always flow... Right? (Maybe)"

我跟昨天的我竞争... (Competing with my past self...)

Yes, you guessed right, the phrase i got for the title is from the lyrics of 欧得洋《明天的幸福》. Which is also the theme song for the show "有福"...

That reminds me, "有福" is coming to an end this Friday (T-T)...

Its a nice show... Heh, maybe secretly i wanted to be like 有福...

Being honest and all, guess because i can relate to what that has happened to him in the show...

Lets hope the show has a happy ending...

Ok... Now to why i chose the phrase for my title...

Well, isn't everyone competing,comparing, like almost everyday...

Don't they get tired? I does seems that way, for others...

But for me i am getting sick of this... Why should i change to become someone i am not?

What happened to "do your best, don't worry it will work out"? Now it is like, "No, i am better than you", "Haha! Loser!". It seems that almost everyone is becoming enemies... I am even competing with my past self? It just seems so hard to stop or slow down now...

Maybe... Just maybe it is only me thinking this way? Perhaps... If this is the case i think i just need to 'correct' my way of thinking...

Enough with my ramblings on that, let me tell you what happened today...

Woke up late, didn't really do the revision i said i would do yesterday...

Why do i keep repeating my same mistakes over and over again?

Spent a large portion of my time, playing games, watch tv...

Just hope what i studied can bail me out this time... (T-T)

"The stars ever-bright, guide me home..."

Wa... Not enough time!

I don't have enough time to do stuff, that i want to lately...

Due to exams and project? Maybe... But i don't think they are the reason.

I seems to be falling back to the habit, of looking for something that i know i never find...

Why do i do that? I like to know that too!

Perhaps this is how "me" is escaping from all the problems...

The feeling is very enticing, it just seems that all troubles will blow over when i find this certain "something"...

I know, i know this wouldn't do me any good, i am better off doing important stuff, like studying for my term test?

Talking about my term test... Let me tell you what happened today...

Well, when i first turned over the question paper, my heart almost skipped a beat! The first question left me completely stumped for a minute or so...

I moved on to next question, which luckily was something that i had done my revision over the night before... The last question i know half and don't know half (T-T)

You know, i said to myself then... That i would not let this same mistake happen again, i will prepare for my DSCN paper more earlier...

Well... Night time now, and i can say i didn't really study yet (T-T)...

Why! Why i always go back on my word! Aarrg! I am starting to doubt myself...

I will do my revision seriously tomorrow, wish me luck...

Oh ya, i did a drawing today:


(The core...)

"Tick tock, tick tock, it never waits for anyone... Does it? "

失败... 失败... (Failure)

Yep, that's the phrase from the 9 o'clock show from channel 8...

there's the site about the show "有福"

(有福 means "blessed with good fortune")

The phrase "失败... 失败..." keeps ringing in my head...

I know failure isn't something that you should be afraid...

But it is easier to say it then having it done, much like the term test on ENAD that i am taking tomorrow...

How, did the revision go? I hear you ask...

Well... I can say that i read through most of the stuff, i sure hope that it is enough...

Why am i feeling so insecure? I am not sure too...

I am not sure when, i picked up this habit of studying at the last minute...

That's why when exam time is near, i tend to feel stressed, it is like me VS time...

But the good thing is i made it all the time... I hope i make it for this time too...

Here's one of my favourite phrase from 有福:

"我不是笨蛋, 我是有福!"
"I am not stupid, i am blessed with good fortune!"

The moon is round...

Yeah... I know, didn't write yesterday...

Because of game playing i didn't write anything :)

Must kick myself...

*Kick* *Kick* *Ouch!*

Okay... Back to what happened today, did a morning run today...

All was well except i still couldn't do much pull-ups (T-T)

Didn't really study much today... Yeah, term test starts on next Tuesday...

So now how? I guess after writhing this, i would go to sleep and hope that i can finish revising tomorrow...

Wish me luck :)

"It is never too late, just remember that!"

Finally... A break at last

Yup... You heard right, finally got to rest today!

I gamed most of today away :D Must be due to the pressure on me the last few days...

Heh... Now getting kinda sleepy already (-_-)zZ

Okay... Lets get down to what happened today...

Woke up late to complete my Apel reflection thingy.

School passed very quickly...

Soon i was at home, i sat for a meditation and then i was to gamingland!

Aiya, the volunteer thingy still need to fill in again... i am starting to have second thoughts aready...

Did a drawing today...


(worries' Over)

Wa... Cannot write more... Eyes closing...

Nite (-_-)zZ

"Again and again, that is how life is..."